How Messaging Apps Are Making Me Even More Relationship OCD

So obviously this post has little to do with living in Vietnam other than the fact that I am using WhatsApp and Viber much more now.

Let me explain why I even use these Godforsaken apps.  In Vietnam,  you don't have cell phone plans but, instead add credit to your phone to call and text.  When you run out of credit, you simply run down to the local convenience store or food/cigarette cart on the street to buy more.  To conserve credit, many people use free messaging and calling apps...hence the dependence on WhatsApp and Viber.  (They utulize wifi connections.)  It is super economical and helpful since you can use your own number and call and text internationally.  (AKA My reason for not giving up on them altogether.)

Onto the crux of my frustration....

I have been in the online dating community for a while now with limited success but I continue to be hopeful and trudge on.  (Meeting the love of your life can't possibly be easy, right?)  However, lately, it has become increasingly aggravating due to those aforementioned apps.

It all starts very positively with an exchange of messages through the site itself.  Typically,  there is a flurry of "get to know you" questions and an excessive amount of "lol's".  (When being sarcastic, I use "...lol" at the end of my statements a lot because God forbid I offend with my cute snarkiness.)

If all goes well, numbers are exchanged and the dreaded texting begins usually via the apps for whose names I no longer care to mention.  Pretty straight forward you say?  What's the big deal you ask?

Well....These lovely apps have a few stalker-esque features that tempt even the most laid back dater.

First, you can see whether someone is online (connected to the app) or not.  The kicker...If your would-be-beau is not connected, the app tracks it and actually shows WHEN the last time they were connected.  Again, convenient right?  Yes, if you want to track his every move throughout the day...not that I would do such a thing.

Second, when you send a message, a delivery status appears below said message...and updates as necessary and...stays there.  You can see that your message was sent and that it was delivered.  Some people revel in having access to this information.  I mean haven't we all wondered at one time or another if our text REALLY went through??  Well, these asshole apps let you know just that.

Lastly, and worst of all, when the recipient reads the message a little "Seen" bubble appears under the message...and stays there  (Viber may be the only ones that does this.) Yes, you know when someone has read your message.

Again, you normal, non neurotic people may be saying "so what?"

Well, as you well know, I am not known for my patience.  Yes, yes, I know it's a virtue...blah, blah, blah.  But in 35ish years of existence,  I have yet to master that one.

So here I sit, having sent a message to this potential  boyfriend because his status shows "online" ...watching the "sent" turn to a deceptively triumphant "delivered."  Now, if it ended there,  it probably wouldn't be so infuriating.

BUT, now the little "seen" bubble pops up.  Cool!  He saw my message.  I should hear right back since he is "online."  Ha, wishful thinking Meg!

No immediate response...ok, he must be busy.

5 minutes after "seen"...maybe he's in the bathroom.

10 minutes after "seen"...hmmm, he must be in the middle of something.

60 minutes after "seen"... that's odd.

You see where I am going with this...fast forward...

12 hours after "seen" with absolutely no response...WTF!?!?!  You better be effin' dead buddy!

So what do I decide is the best course of action at this point... send the following message:  FYI... I would appreciate a quick "Sorry, I'm busy" rather than be ignored. Just common courtesy...thanks.

And guess what?  Nearly 8 hours after the dreaded "sent" bubble appears for this message, no response....and he's online.

And, I wonder why I'm single.... lol

3 Months In....Life after Tet

Tet is FINALLY over...Thank the Good Lord!  I was very bored and am thrilled to be back to work.  A few of my classes ended and I was sad to see them go.  The above picture is from one of my younger classes that just ended.  The girls loved playing with my special multicolored markers Mama Spauldin sent from the US.  My school only has red, black and blue.

My first few classes have taught me a ton...what works and what doesn't.   It's easier to acknowledge my "bigness" right away and it quickly becomes a non-issue.  I have found that I really love the younger kids.  They really seem to respond to me and most are so sharp.  When I give them a challenging task before break, they will work through their break trying to complete it.  Very inspiring!  However, having a good TA in the class is priceless.  They help answer the kids' questions, explain difficult terms or game instructions,  and help out in general.

I was assigned a new class recently with the dreaded 5 year olds.  They were my first class ever and it was an epic fail.  It seriously was.  When I asked the TA how it went after my first class 3 months ago, the sweet thing said, "well, you tried really hard."  LOL

Luckily, I came armed with a load of youtube kids' songs and a few activities this time.  Let's just say it was a HUGE difference.   Still room for improvement but way better than the first go.

I am actually considering getting my master's degree in esl education so I can teach if/when I come home.  I really couldn't have imagined how much I would love teaching.  It really blows my mind.  I am absolutely thrilled with my decision and haven't looked back once.

Medical update:  I am still being treated for my blood clot.  The pain has mostly gone away but the clot is still there along with the bruising and the bumps.  I am finishing the blood clot injections next week and starting on the oral blood thinners for 6 weeks.  I am receiving good treatment from a Western clinic here.

On a funny note, I started a new class of 7-8 year olds this week.  I have one naughty little boy in it.  I kept getting on him for hitting and kicking the other kids.  I made him sit down and not dance during the last activity.  When the students leave, the TA makes them line up and say "Goodbye Teacher!"  This little brat said "Goodbye Monster!"  I asked him why he called me that and he said I was big.  I said "Well, you are naughty!"  I was shocked he would say that to a teacher!  I definitely should have responded differently but I was so caught off guard.  It should be an interesting 11 more weeks with this little chap.  LOL

Happy New Year!

Everything is revolving around the Vietnamese new year, Tet, right now.  People are buying new clothes and shoes....random markets are popping up everywhere including my alley.  Large gift baskets are apparently the thing to give along with money.  They contain a variety of food items and typically wine or liquor.  They are pretty nice....i wouldn't mind getting one.  Stores have started closing already or are keeping shorter hours.

We received gifts from our school.   They are considered a delicacy here....i will let you decide.  They were 12 jars of a drink made from birds' nests harvested from caves.  The kicker....The nests are made from the birds' regurgitation.   So essentially you are drinking bird vomit. Needless to say, I gave mine away to my cleaning ladies. They seemed pretty tickled.

I have almost 2 weeks off work due to the holiday.  I plan to check out the flower displays, organize my lesson plans, and catch up on my cross stitching.  I am sure there will be some  boozing in there somewhere.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Bittersweet

Wow...Over 1 month since I posted last....bad blogger.  Well, hopefully this "novel" will make you laugh and cry as most good novels should.

The Good

• School is amazing.  I only have 3 classes right now and would like more.  I can't believe I love teaching children as much as I do.  I really thought I wouldn't care for it.  I wanted to focus on teaching adults but have found pure joy in teaching kids.  Don't get me wrong, I do have to yell, scold and lecture on occasion.   But they always make me laugh and smile by the end of class.  This may be the most rewarding thing I have ever done.  
• I truly love living here.  It's crazy, interesting, fun, challenging, and frustrating...sometimes all at the same time.  Life is very easy here and there are enough western comforts to make me not miss the US.
• I have been very lucky to meet two American brothers and their Vietnamese wives.  They have quickly become my family here and that's who I spend a lot of my time with.  They are amazing and we have connected quickly.  I thank God for them.
• I have found a reliable motorbike driver named Tran.  He speaks English and is a great driver.  It's nice to have someone to rely on, trust and not have to haggle with prices all the time.

The Bad

• I was in my first motorbike crash yesterday.  I was riding on the back with my driver when someone cut us off as we were turning.  We fell over on to the pavement.  Luckily, we were going pretty slow and my school bag cushioned my fall.  I did sustain a few scrapes and bruises but all in all I was lucky.  Tran was more beat up than me but was very concerned about me.  This incident just solidified my lack of desire to drive a motorbike on my own.
• I recently got my heart broken.  In early December,  I met another American English teacher online.  His name is Lucas.  Most of you know, I haven't really seriously dated over the years.  I am pretty picky but when I fall....I fall hard and fast.  And so I did with Lucas and for a short time, I think he did too.  However, he gave me the "I just wanna be friends" talk about a week ago.  I have had a hard time accepting it.  Two things make this situation difficult for me. First, I am spoiled and I typically get what I want.  Second, I work hard, set my mind to something and typically achieve it.  Unfortunately, love and relationships aren't influenced by those things.  This is a lesson I have yet to learn and sometimes wonder if I ever will.  I know I am fabulous and deserve a wonderful man...i just wish he had been Lucas....

The Funny

• If a store doesn't have enough change (like 500 dong,) they give you candy.  Simple yet effective.  :)

Checking in....

Sorry, I haven't posted in awhile.  To be honest, it's been kind of business as usual.  School, going out, running errands.....pretty normal.  I am loving it here and am really enjoying my classes.  It still amazes me how western things are here.  Saw the doctor again today....just can't shake the saigon sickness.  Hopefully, the loads of meds the doc gave me today do the trick.  Til later folks!

Christmas Vietnamese Style

I had no idea the Vietnamese people were so into Christmas.  There is a pretty significant Catholic population here so it makes sense.  Most shops and restaurants and some streets are decorated to the hilt.  It's a little gaudy by US standards but festive nonetheless.  You can't throw a stone without hitting a store like the one below. I wonder what they sell when it's not Christmas.

Even the doughnuts get special decoration. 

Random Thoughts #2

• Madame is used here instead of Miss or Ma'am.  I quite like it.  You can definitely see the French influence there.
• Shops and restaurants are playing American Christmas music which I find interesting.
• Christmas decorations are EVERYWHERE!   However,  I have yet to find any wrapping paper.
• Stoplights show countdowns here so you know exactly when the light will turn.  It is perfectly acceptable to start moving at the 3 second mark.
• Apparently the ladies selling cigarettes here can also get you harder drugs or a prostitute.  They don't approach women with these offers, only men.
• Guidebook myth #1....it is perfectly common to wear sleeveless clothes here and it is not considered offensive.   You still need to cover up at religious sites though.
• The female bar staff at many establishments are VERY touchy feely with both genders but especially men.